BIG DOG THOUGHT I WAS BACON!!!

I know this will be a surprise to everyone BUT I WAS RIGHT!!! The dogs know it's not bacon and they are PISSED!!! I was almost eaten by one tonight. He was hiding in the darkness and waited for me and sarah to get close enough to devour. When we entered his domain he leaped out in front of us teeth bared. He only spoke dog but I could hear his soul speaking the words he so desperatly wanted to say. His soul Screamed "WHERE IS MY BACON!!! I KNOW IT'S NOT BACON SO WHERE IS THE BACON" Me and Sarah leaped back and screamed "WE DON'T HAVE YOUR FREAKIN BACON!" He was having none of it and started to close the gap. I cleverly stepped out of his yard hoping there was an invisible fence to stop him......There wasn't so Sarah had to think of a plan. She thought up a brilliant one. SHE DECIDED TO KICK HIM IN THE HEAD! "How clever!" I proclaimed. BUT I felt sympathing for the lab, mainly because he reminded me of chocolate cuz he was a chocolate lab.....I likes chocolate...... So I blinded him with me flashlight causing him to back up and we made our escape without Sarah having to punish the Chocolate.....END

This was a True story.....Well okay it was based on a true story..... IN THE REAL STORY SARAH SAW A COUGAR!!! ....or a fox on steriods.....or.....big.....foot??? if he was a cougar? or Gazelles....Oh hell who gave me this computer and who gave me a blog........

SPIN-KNIFING

Everyone knows the joys of spooning with a close friend. I mean usually spooning is used for the purpose of staying warm if stranded in the wilderness but really why not for recreation? Although there always comes the problem when on of the spoons just does not feel cuddly. BUT FEAR NOT CUDDLE REALM THERE IS A SOLUTION!!! That solution is SPIN-KNIFING! Basically the reason why we named it spooning is because each person resembles a spoon as they cuddle like when you stack actual spoons in a drawer. On person is the big spoon (outside spoon) and the other person is the little spoon (inside spoon). Well when on of the spoons doesn't want to participate they then become the "knife". They get this name because they stay straight and refrain from cuddleing like spoons do. Then the person who is willing to cuddle is the spoon. So one knife plus one spoon equals SPIN-KNIFING instead of spooning.

I hope this was educational to my followers.....all two of you......both of you already know what SPIN-KNIFING is......cuz we spin-knife all the time.... wanna guess if I'm the knife of the spoon?

TODAY i HAD BACON

Non-sense Because no one will read this anyway :)
Some people say dogs don't know it's not bacon but the thing is they do. People how many times do I have to tell you DOGS DO KNOW IT'S NOT BACON. We should unite to form a group who makes sure dogs get the real stuff. You know the stuff we get from fatting up the ever so delious porky pig and then slaughtering him to make numerous different tasty meats INCLUDING BACON! except hog dogs....hot dogs don't come from pigs...or cows..I think I'd even be okay if it was actual dog meat...but it's not even that...we know those are made from smaller animals....with more than four legs.......and beaks....flipper..claws.....gross....I digress

Actaully forget the dogs getting bacon lets just all not eat hog dogs :)